Sunday, April 15, 2007
Now that it's all said and done
I can't believe you were the one
to build me up and tear me down,
like an old abandoned house.
And what you said when you left,
just left me cold and out of breathe.
I fell too far, was way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.
Well I never saw it coming
I should have started running
a long time ago.
And I never thought to doubt you.
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess its really over
I am finally getting better.
Now I'm picking up the pieces
and spending all of these years
putting my heart back together
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
You took a hammer to these walls,
dragged the memories down the hall,
packed your bags and walked away,
there was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
alot of others opened up.
So did my eyes, so I could see
that you were never the best for me.
Well I never saw it coming,
I should have started running
a long time ago.
And I never thought to doubt you
I'm better off without you
more than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure
I guess it's really over
I'm finally getting better.
Now I'm picking up the pieces
and spending all these years,
putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
I have mixed feelings whn i see u guys tog.
Part of me was happy tt uve gotten urself sucha nice girl.
Yet, another part of me was confused n alil dwn.
I think this time round,
I've finally woken up.
You don't know and won't bother what i'm gg thru these two yrs.
Its rli not worth feeling emotional over u.
I guess I rli have to get over u now.
I hv to leave all these nonsenses behind and lead a new life.
Somehow, when it all finally settled in tt dae,
I feel as tho I was stabbed in the heart.
But, now I finally understand (hopefully)
tt no matter how upset and hurt by ur actions,
u'll nv give a damn.
u will nv bother.
I shd hv listened to wat others told me long ago
I shd hv given up
I shd not have fallen so deep.
No matter what,
now I know tt its really time,
to get over u.
Both of u hv my blessings.
And to you,
I wish u well from the bottom of my heart.
Serious.
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
Sunday, April 08, 2007
Just when I thot I was getting better emotionally,
you have to do this.
You have to give me the call that I wish I didnt answer last nite.
I have only started to see some light aft living in the dark for the last three weeks.
Now uve brought me all the way back to darkness again.
Didnt have the mood to talk tdy.
I feel so tired.
I rli hate my life!
I rli hate MYSELF!!
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
Friday, April 06, 2007
Had a brilliant night with my dearest hannie and wenny last night.
Had dinner at JP cos Hannie's staying in hall to study fer her upcoming exams.
And wenny drove last nite as well!
Had so much fun in her car! :)
It was the first time since long long time ago tt we had heart-to-heart talk with each other.
only the two of us.
and rli i hope i can be like her.
i wld love to hv her outlook of life and her "tk thgs lightly" attitude.
Seriously, if im like her, it will save me frm so much sadness n pain.
Anw, we talked alot last nite.
Alot abt our st nicks life and how i want to be everyones' first child's godma.
and who will be the first amongst us five to get married.
We both chose Hannie.
Maybe cos she gives both of us this mummy's kinda feeling whn she's with us.
As we talked, we suddenly realised tt nxt yr it will be the 10th year since we gotta know each other.
how time flies.
10 years passes by like a breeze.
We have went thru 3 phases of life tog alr.
First, secondary school days.
Next, our first phase in a mixed school since 11yrs in an all girls' sch--Junior College.
Third, uni life.
Now, we are accompanying each other into our nxt phase which is working life.
And we'll many many other phases to come!! :))
Being someone's wife, mummy and grandmummy!!
How exciting!
Nthg beats seeing each other grow up and face challenges in different phases of our lives tog. Nthg beats hanging out with these angels all these years.
I alws feel so comfortable, warm n embraced with their company.
I remembered zhenhao said this one day "its alws ur secondary sch days friends who are ur tru frns.."
now i finally understand.
the love btw us is so pure and true.
simplicity and no false fronts.
we truly appreciate each other and care for each other frm the bottom of our hearts.
Even non-frequent meet-ups won't hurt wat we hv amongst us.
To my lil clique,
thank you for ur support and love all these years.
We have walked dwn a long way tog alr,
but there are still more long years still to come!
And i cant wait to share wat lies ahead w u guys.
Remember that u darls are the gems in my life and i will never ever exchange anthg for our precious frnships.
Thanks for the ever strong shoulders for me to lean on.
thks fer all the priceless memories u girls gave me.
All of u hold special places in my heart which nobody else will ever and can ever replace.
i truly love all of u darls and im truly blessed.
*Hannie, Lyns, Sherry, Fen and Wenny*
Thanks for ur constant comforting words thruout these painful 3 weeks.
Thks for ur patience and ur listening ears.
Without all of ur support,
I wldnt have the courage to move on.
I wldnt have the determination to let go of those unworthy fellow.
I wldnt smile agn.
Thank you to all u lovelies,
from the bottom of my heart.
I will stay strong and live even better than before.
Im sure i can do away with idiots in my life.
I will alws rem wat lyns said
"its their loss.."
Today, she asked me a qns tt i didnt know how to ans.
i cannot say "yes" straight to her.
i didnt wna hurt wat we hv right now.
actually i wna tell her tt i didnt like the way she treats me.
i didnt like the fact tt she's alws insulting or sayg thgs to me in a sarcastic manner.
i wna tell her tt i feel tt we r driftg and i rli dnt knw wat to say whn we meet up.
but i didnt.
i was too tired and didnt wna talk much.
i dnt wna feel upset all over agn.
i feel that theres no point sayg cos she'll nv change.
so just leave thgs as it is.
im contented this way.
all that i need to know is that she is living blissfully right now.
tts more than enuf.
i wish her well.
back to sch later.
a hectic week.
ive sch frm tdy all the way to nxt sunday.
everyday frm 10am-5pm and tues frm 9am-9pm.
i wndr how i can survive this.
urghhhhh
*whines*
**i miss my yings bestie so much!**
cant wait to see u in june! -hugs-
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
Monday, April 02, 2007
Seriously, I think I hv thought it through
and ive decided to let evthg go.
At the end of the day,
only true worthy ones will prevail.
I will know who are the ones cos they will be the ones who truly will stand by u thru every storm.
Thanks to Lyns, Sherry, Hannie and dear ah Fen
for standing w me thruout these tough 3 weeks or so.
Thanks for ur patience w me and i truly love you all.
U lovies hv been such blessings in my life.
I am contented.
Shan't let those unworthy n self-centered ppl upset me anymore.
I hv given enuf and its time to tk a step back.
Its time to rest.
So to those unworthy ones,
u know u are one of those on my list,
whn u realize ive stopped sms-ing, msn-sing and arranging meet-ups with u.
And whn i dont reply ur msn msgs and sms-es.
Stop wasting my time.
Ive done so much and if u guys do not appreciate,
then I will nv be able to satisfy u and mk u happy.
I will alws be an idiot to you and i will alws be someone who alws ask u questions tt u'll nv know how to answer.
So even if u dnt feel the loss,
theres nthg much i can say n do.
So be it then.
Period.
I have let it go.
Feeling peaceful and free! :)
Class at Mgt House today was pretty gd.
Tho we hv to walk qte a distance to the sch.
Haider Ali is so much better than last yr!
I totally find marketing interesting aft wat he taught today.
And he can actually tell jokes!
Totally enjoyed the lecture.
And the company of dumpling, Alex, Connie, Szeyee and Victor.
I guess I have to start enjoying life again.
-
I guess this is a beautiful mistake too# ;
get one from 